Raise your hand if 90% of your Facebook feed is selling essential oils, Advocare, Rodan + Fields, It Works! Wraps, Jamberry, ThirtyOne bags, or Beachbody.
Now raise your hand if you’ve hidden one of these “business owners” from view because they never get off social media and you’re convinced their schill is a scam.
Me too. I actually have a pretty vocal and deep-rooted hatred for MLM “schemes”. I know two friends who went seriously into debt trying to build up a supply of their Mary Kay and Stella + Dot. I didn’t like the pyramid style, I hated having my friends harass me into hosting a party, and quite frankly all of the things everyone I knew selling sucked. I teased my best friend for years about the parties she was guilted into hosting, and stubbornly refused to attend. What can I say, I’m an awesome friend.
Until last May. We had just moved into our new house, and after dropping all of the baby weight when Guinevere was 1, I was back up to the same weight I was the day she was born – before she actually came out. I’m 5’3″ and pretty small boned, and while I can dress myself well enough that most of my friends would swear they couldn’t tell the difference, it was pretty clear to me by the clothes that kept getting tossed in the “too small” pile. I was back up to an 8 in Target Merona sizing when I’m normally more like a 2. I’m fairly well read on exercise and nutrition. I knew exactly WHAT to do, but life was so hectic I didn’t feel like I had time to dedicate to doing it. My girlfriend Christina had lost a ton of weight through Beachbody and Shakeology and I decided to give it a try.
First reaction – I’ve had a lot of protein shakes. My first mistake was to compare this to a typical protein shake and it really isn’t. Other whey proteins I’ve used in the past when I was serious about lifting had almost double the protein with fewer calories. They also all tasted like garbage. So pro 1 – the taste. Shakeology is delicious. After spending the last 9 months experimenting with different flavors and add-ins, I can honestly say that it tastes dessert-y to me and I crave it daily. Once I changed my mindset away from a “filler” protein shake that only served the purpose to seriously up my Protein Macro (my previous “diet plan” of choice – tracking calories and macros) and thought of Shakeology as a meal replacement, it actually became a really healthy addition to my diet. I’m hard-pressed to think of something else I can make so quickly that covers protein, vitamins, and micronutrients that I know I’m lacking per usda.gov (thanks, Nutrition 295 at GMU!) My go-to is blended with a banana, PB2, crushed ice, and 5X protein unsweetened almond milk. I think I’m going to go make one now JUST BECAUSE. dammit.
Just adding that to my morning routine had me drop 15 pounds in six months. Around September, I started going to an Orange Theory Fitness gym twice a week, but the bulk of the drop – when my diet still sucked and I was beer-ing it up – can be credited to those damn shakes. I love them. Around this time, I started doing yoga with some of my coworkers in the afternoon, from the Tony Horton P90X Yoga program. Turns out, P90X is a Beachbody program, but its also a program that Tyler and I have both used over the years. And then, Tyler started religiously doing P90X3 at home, which combined with a diet, led him to a weight loss of 60lbs in six months. SIXTY POUNDS.
Look at the pictures of our transformation from June:
SO HOT. And lets be honest, no one could ever call me “fat” in those June pictures. But I didn’t fit in my clothes and didn’t feel like myself. I actually almost never weigh myself, I only go by what zips up, and at that level of “absolutely nothing zips”…I wasn’t happy. Not fat, just not happy, or as healthy as I knew I could be.
So at this point, I kinda love Beachbody products. But I actually really hate Beachbody, so I don’t feel like I can admit it online.
The Shakeo pics – pose pretty with your cup!
The sweaty selfies.
The inspirational quotes.
The life stories.
Recruiting others to join their challenge group, but being sort of vaguebook about it.
Not to mention “coaches” who seem to be stay at home moms with terrible form, absolutely no background in nutrition, and really no qualifications other than what a corporate office tells them to say. Right?
…no thanks. That’s not me.
I’m the chick that was making $600 a month blogging and quit because I thought I was stretching it a little far with the sponsor relationships and wasn’t being authentic. I am DEFINITELY not Beachbody material. Until I found out that you can be a “discount coach” where you are a coach, but you’re just getting a discount on your own product you buy. So I signed up, perfectly content to continue with my own happy program.
Let’s be honest, if I had to start posting inspirational quotes, it’d be shit like this:
They are big on personal development and request that you spend time each day working on you. Which is awesome in theory, and other coaches seem to love it, but my personal development goals include things like “took a shower without child bothering me” and “am actually caught up on Serial AND finished Making a Murderer on Netflix.” So I’ll check the box there, and we can all know that I’m probably reading a romance novel and aspiring towards “developing” plans that involve my husband “personally”.
And sweaty selfies would also be of the snarky variety –
And I think we can all admit that I’m terribly unfunny, so I’m really doing you a favor here by NOT becoming a good Beachbody coach.
And its very likely that I’ll never get around to posting about this on my Facebook page. Its extremely likely that I won’t post much about it on here. You definitely won’t see any inspoquotes or shots of me kissing a Shakeo bottle on Instagram. But if you’ve heard about it, here’s what I wish I knew while I was so busy passing judgement:
1. Just try the damn Shakeo. If you live near me, I’ll give you samples for free. Because I love it. You can tell me that your sister is a coach and you’ll order through her if you like it and I’ll still give you a sample to try because I like the product that much. Hell, soon I’ll order some packaged samples and I’ll mail them to you if you don’t live near me. Chocolate is amazing, Vanilla is pretty versatile, I think the Strawberry is gross unless you blend fruit, and there is a Cafe Latte flavor coming out this week that is supposed to be amazing. Be aware that the Shakeo on its own is pretty expensive. I was extremely hesitant about that price. Sure, the other coaches will tell you that its cheaper than the cost of a Starbucks a day, but I don’t drink Starbucks. However, at the discount coach rate, its reasonable for me. Most of my fellow “coaches” make enough money to pay for their own Shakeology. Others are making thousands a week. I have made exactly $0, but I can honestly say I’m okay with never making any money here – I have a day job that I love. This isn’t a “lost investment” like my girlfriend’s 125 tubes of Mary Kay lipstick still sitting in her mom’s basement. I’m drinking every cent I spend and nothing more. Win.
Also, if you don’t like it, you can get your money back. You should do that. Just because I love it and it works for me, doesn’t mean its for everyone. My sister mentioned not losing a pound when she did this and stuck to the 21 Day Fix plan perfectly and I’m still horrified that she didn’t work with her coach to figure out A) what might be a better workaround and B) get a refund.
2. The workouts are super convenient. I was a fan of P90X and P90X3 long before I realized that they were now affiliated with Beachbody. Those, and a dozen others are really easy to do from home. I own quite a bit of weight equipment – multiple benches, lots of weights, bars, bands, etc, but for the average person that has basically nothing, there are programs for you too. I’m currently doing one called Hammer and Chisel, and they offer enough variations that I was able to do today’s workout from my office gym, which has less equipment than my house but I could modify well enough to get in a solid workout. It felt so good burning some stress in the middle of the day.
3. 21 Day Fix is the same diet approach you’ve seen everywhere else. Look, we all get it – eat real food, whole food, clean food. But not too much. And make sure its well balanced. This is what you’ll hear from IIFYM, Weight Watchers, Advocare, and Beachbody. What makes them all slightly unique is how they have you thinking about diet – whether its My Fitness Pal or Weight Watchers points. For 21 Day Fix, it means colorful containers. Seems like a waste of money – you can google how big each container is and figure it out for yourself. But if you’re a visual person (like me), its actually a really easy way to better manage portion control. And the recipes in the Fixate cookbook are delicious.
Here’s the other thing – most diets, I struggle with feeding my husband, and my daughter, and then sticking to the plan. You have two options with 21 Day Fix – either feed them your food which is delicious and they will love. Or, guides like the Fixate cookbook give tips on how long it will keep in the fridge, what might freeze, what you can heat up in a toaster, etc. VERY simple to cater it to one person if you’d rather make once and meal plan for a week.
4. 3 Day Refresh. I have to mention this because I loved it so much – and I’ve done it twice. 3 Day Refresh is basically a cleanse that lets you eat. You get two shakes, a fiber drink (which isn’t as bad as I thought it might be), tea, veggies, fruit, and then a veggie-ish meal. I lost 4lbs each time I did it, and if I go from that to a 21 Day Fix or clean eating plan, the weight stays off. I’ve had friends lose as much as 7lbs and it stays off. I’m not hungry, I have the same energy, and I’m not super angry because I actually have things to chew. I HIGHLY recommend this as your kick start to the 21 Day Fix diet.
Bonus, they tend to run a ton of specials on this, where you basically get it for free if you buy a month of Shakeology. Definitely ask your coach (or me I guess?) about specials to try to save as much money as possible. That is how I’ve bought it when I did it.
Edited to Add: They are doing one of those specials right now apparently. Its a savings of $70, which is a lot of money!
5. The real advantage here is community. You can do whatever diet you want. Whatever workout plan is best for you. You can hate the Shakeology. But if you’re interested in one of the above three and get involved with a coach, you get invited to join a private group or challenge group. And thats where they suck you in. There’s a huge level of support, camaraderie, friendship, and cheerleading there. You aren’t admonished for a cheat meal, they call them happy meals. They change your mindset from “Oops, I ate my kid’s donut, my whole day is ruined now so I might as well get McDs” to “Well, that was delicious, but time to balance it with a salad for lunch”. There’s no guilt or grunt, and everyone seems like minded. I’ve observed three separate groups now, and have been really surprised to see how active they are – sharing recipes, tips, inspiration. Genuinely excited for one another. Its like I’m in a sorority all over again, but this time instead of chugging beers I’m making eggplant “pizza” and I LIKE it. Oh, and those “coaches” I keep making fun of? They don’t pretend to be experts. They’re the first to scurry off and research accurate answers for you, instead of puffing up and pretending to be experts. I love that.
I know. KOOL-AID. I’m cringing over here too.
But since I told myself I’d get back into blogging, I figured I might as well admit to the world that I’ve sold out. I’m a Beachbody…person. I still think the “coach” title is pretty whack for a woman that barely breaks parallel when she squats. How about Beachbody Babe? Because I’m definitely feeling hotter than I have for a long time. And I’ll definitely share my Before and After pictures here when I’m done with Hammer and Chisel. Who doesn’t like hair pats from internet strangers??
Feel free to email me if you have any questions – firstname.lastname@example.org. And if you have any questions, I’ll answer them in the comments as well so others can see. Per always, I’ll straight shoot with you about my opinions on the product, price, customer service, possibility of making money, and so on.
And if you want to buy anything for me, and make me my first dolla…I promise to holla for you all over social media. 😉
In other news, coming soon!
- Pictures of our new home decorated for our first Christmas here (it was beautiful!)
- Christmas post – lots of magical Pegasus’ here!
- Punta Cana vacation recap
- Master Bathroom pictures
- (that’s all I’ve got so far. I’m sure I can think of something else!)
Some forums offer cookies in exchange for reading long posts. I instead offer you a gratuitous boob shot from my first time snorkeling for sticking around this long 😉