Guinevere has always been Daddy’s girl. My mom friends say their kids frequently switched back and forth throughout their young lives, but Guinevere never wavers – she loves me, but there is something about dad. Maybe getting to spend less time with him? But any time she gets a boo boo, we need to call dad so he can make it better. Dad usually gets picked for bath and books. I think the only thing I get picked for is helping her go potty HA.
It does sting sometimes. I feel like we have SO MUCH FUN. Random dance parties. Messy art projects. I let her help bake or do my make up or all sorts of “grown up” things. I let her walk through the store holding my hand and I paint her toe nails all different colors with glitter. I always always buy her that thing at Target she “needs”. I know it doesn’t mean she loves me less – we have an awesome bond. But when I went to New York for Lucky Fabb she didn’t blink – and when she woke up on Friday to be told that Daddy was on an airplane to California, she was hysterical.
Until Sunday. I’ve been working so much at my new job bartending, and since Tyler was gone Guinevere has been bouncing around between her nanny and my aunt who helped watch her. She was out of sorts from everything being out of the routine that she is accustomed to. And when my aunt brought her into the restaurant to have dinner and I walked over to say hi, she was SO EXCITED. When my co-workers came over to say hi, she happily blurted, “My name is Guinevere and this is my mommy and we are BEST FRIENDS.” Over and over again. My heart was so full and I was so rejuvenated seeing my little bug – until I had to walk away to go back to the bar and she started to cry. I handed over my cell phone so she could get distracted with games, but my heart hurt – so badly. I felt my tears starting to spill and as I raced away my friend Jess tried to grab me going “Kelly…Kelly”. I did what any asshole does to a friend, I ignored her and walked away. I knew it was going to be fine. I know my kid is okay and loved and won’t remember that time in her life where mama has to work every night and almost never gets to tuck her in again. But I’m still so very sad. Jess did finally corner me and showered me with all of the right things to hear, so I’m grateful for that, but when my aunt was taking Guinevere home and she realized I wasn’t coming with, she howled all of the way out of the restaurant. And my tears started again.
We let her stay up until I got home – an early night, at 10:30pm. Most nights I won’t walk in until 3am, or even later. And I paid the price for it on Monday when she was in a foul mood from not sleeping.
I miss my kid. Working nights is tough. This won’t be my favorite chapter of life in our book.
The second that the dogs hear the garage door open, they bark as loudly as they possibly can. They actually always bark as loudly as they possibly can and sometimes I daydream about opening the front door and letting them find a new home, but they love Guinevere and are wonderful with her so they can stay. For now.
The second that Guinevere hears the dogs bark, she immediately perks up – “Daddy’s home!” and she races to go see. This sucks when the dogs are barking because a leaf blew onto our front stoop, but is adorable when she’s right, and he’s home. Those first ten minutes after he parks are pure magic for her.
Running in for hugs.
Telling him everything that she did that day, from the dog eating her crackers to pooping on the potty.
Watching dad through the football SO HIGH in the air – and learning to catch.
After this there was bike riding and dancing and pretend airplane flying, before we had to drag her in for dinner. But man if those aren’t the best ten minutes of her entire day.
Won’t you please join us?
- Trendy Tot Tuesday is a chance to talk about kid’s style, and pretty much anything goes. Pictures of your cutie, talking about their style (that you buy and dress them in, ahem!), a Polyvore board, linking to the new kid’s line at the Gap – anything! All ages welcome, from you sweet pregnant mamas stocking up a closet to the teenagers that probably pick all their own stuff out now
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