I’m a scaredy cat. “Me too!” you might be nodding as you read along. But I think I win, because my fears are downright infantile, and Tyler makes fun of me constantly.
I sprint up the stairs every single time I’m down there. While doing laundry, I’m uneasy. But something about turning my back on the basement to come up gets my heart racing every time.
I cannot walk from our main level to upstairs without the lights on. I often throw fits if Tyler tries to turn off the lights as we go to bed, since I NEED light to make sure I can see everything.
Similarly, going to the bathroom in the middle of the night makes me thankful for the 3 years I spent as a pole vaulter in highschool. You would not believe how quickly I can run and fling myself into our bed, to ensure nothing grabs a foot on my way up.
And probably the most pathetic of all – I have a reputation for being super quick at going to the bathroom. When I was a kid, someone told me there were snakes in the toilet, and if you weren’t actually doing something (actively peeing/pooping) that they’d bite you. And at 28 years old, I still have a voice in my head that frantically encourages a swift release.
Now you’re probably thinking, “she needs therapy” and you wouldn’t be wrong.
Anyway, I cannot watch any scary movies. I have total nightmares, and even Harry Potter movies get my blood pressure and heart rate up WAY too high. I just don’t enjoy being scared. If you try to “boo!” me I will very likely burst into tears.
Yet somehow, I got into the TV show Walking Dead. About zombies. Maybe my least favorite idea EVER. It helped that the idea of zombies seemed very farfetched to me (whereas snakes in my toilet are totally possible). And I just read all of the detailed synopsis online first, so I knew exactly who was going to die and when, to prepare myself a little better. Even so, I still look like this through an entire episode:
Oh yes, Tyler sneak filmed me. After I knew what was going to happen, and yes, thats my maxi skirt that I’m frantically trying to pull over my face. Be glad there is no volume, I’m sure I’m whimpering loudly. But the plot dragged me in, and now I can’t wait for next season. Because again – surely zombies couldn’t actually exist.
But YOU GUYS. Have you read the news lately? My Facebook feed is blowing up with horrible zombie stories. This article links to most of them, and then last night? I hear about a Maryland guy that ate his roommate’s brain and heart.
There is even a map now, plotting out all the locations:
So the summary of this post –
- If you live in Florida, you should probably move.
- If you don’t watch Walking Dead, let me summarize: guns are bad, they attract more zombies. Luckily, I aced archery in highschool.
- You should probably buy this.
- You should definitely review this.
- I am currently seeking recommendations for excellent therapists in the northern Virginia area.